Bitches' holiday (via Instagram)

So it is officially 2014; the year of Beyonce dominating the world, Putin still being incapable of ageing, China having the largest number of active robots, scientists underestimating climate change and now threatening the apocalypse by 2100, Kesha staying sober and Kimye getting married but really most importantly 2014 is the year of Instagram. 

Everyone is addicted. 

It's ok though. To attempt to remain trendy here is a short blogpost on our holidays (and why we have been so quiet) using only Instagram pics. 

Alot of road tripping was done and falling in love with South Africa everywhere. 

I recommend everyone get a tent and go camping, it is life changing. 

Went full tourist and safaried in Addo Elephant Park. This was the day of a heat wave and temperatures above 40'C so did a naked safari.

The temperature made me crack quite obviously/constantly tipsy.

Imprinted on these babies

I refuse to let anyone know where this is but it is in South Africa and it's INCREDIBLE. 

Fani should have been in that photo but she had fallen down the dune already.

Fani also got SEXUAL and SENSUAL and SHITTING HOT for a shoot in Gaschette magazine which once again makes it incredibly hard for me to remain heterosexual

COME ON!! 

Twisps are the new cigarettes of 2014 because lung cancer just isn't hot.

Fani also learnt how to sand board (very gracefully)

My two favourite people celebrated their one year anniversary. Everyone is invited to the wedding.

The pressure of being in Port Elizabeth and seeing Fanees' true love made me crack and I married a girl. It was a small, quiet ceremony but our love continues to prosper

WE ARE OBSESSED WITH ANNE HIRSCH! She better read this!! Fani has cracked her and gets hugs in bars but I stand awkwardly attempting to touch her and its time she knows how I really feel. CHOOSE ME ANNE, LOVE ME ANNE! 

Got lied to and went to a tropical roast party being told everyone would be dressed up. NO-ONE WAS. so spent the day looking like a wanker dancing to deep house (was actually bloody brilliant)

My wife is the new face of Young 'n Lazy ski gear

We honeymooned at Vic Falls, so romantic like that.

Cally tried to educate us with some very educational movies

But no-one could explain to us why you have to WALK the drive-throughs in PE. 

(I love that city)

And just my wife being Kajual in nature

SO A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL.

2014 HAS BEEN INCREDIBLE SO FAR AND IT'S ONLY GETTING BETTER

Hope everyone gets healthy, stays off crack, loves one another and Obama has a better year.

Also this is the year we take our Djing career INTERNATIONAL.

WATCH THIS SPACE.

Untamed Youth- PUBLIC HOLIDAY!!

WEDNESDAY IS WORKERS DAY!! THAT MEANS THAT YOU GET TO DO FUCK ALL FOR AN ENTIRE DAY. AND FEEL NO GUILT CAUSE YOU WORKED FOR IT

Caramel Vodka will be served at R12 a shot. 

AND IT IS LITERALLY LIQUID GOLD

BEERS WILL ALSO BE R12. AND WON'T TASTE LIKE PISS.

Your night could possibly end up like this though

But who gives a shit cause thoughout the night people will have taken photos of you looking like this

And not so much like this

Also this guy (Tommy) is back

And this guy (Stefan) might be there too

And I want to get drunk enough to see this shit happen

It's Untamed Youth. It's Indie. It's Electro. It's Disco

And you have the whole of wednesday to sob in bed

So click attending here

What holidays have taught me

Having been on holiday for approximately three months now I feel it necessary to have learnt something. And apparently I have. I have compiled all the most important "tips" which I picked up these last three months. Mostly completely useless but at least it was a happy time. 

1. wearing underwear as outer wear:

Lesson learnt from the one and only Jana Babez. I only managed it one night (and my bra being the size of a normal girl's top no-one really noticed) but I feel like it is a good summer tip.

And if anyone finds it slutty, just do what Jana does and thank them. 

I do not thrive in warm environments. 

2. Reading the Economist

Not only is it WAY more entertaining than I ever thought possible, it also makes you seem smart. The fact that it is rather heavily right-wing influenced is something I'm willing to admit but it does not take away from the content. 

They also have really fun, positive covers like the one below. 

3. The Seychelles are probably that "heaven" all religious folk speak of. It is literally heaven, and somehow seems vastly preserved and uninhabited. If you ever have money, go there. Seriously, Thailand is like Iraq in comparison (sorry but true). 

4. The Internet with all its endless amount of information is in fact rather useless. I am a user of the Internet but I have realised I do not LIKE the Internet. Keeping off social media is probably the cleanest I have felt since my childhood ended. Look at what the people say:

5. There is no such thing as too tanned. Ever. These girls are not tanned enough. 

6. I maintain that flip flops are as unacceptable in 2013 as they were in 2012. 

7. Pirates look like this nowadays

And not so much like this:

8. Kendrick Lamar's "Money Trees" is the best thing to have happened to music.

9. Girls is a show based on pretty much everyone I socialise with. Which means we are a narcissistic bunch of maladjusted self loathing girls. Oh well, it's entertaining.

10. And finally there is such a thing as too much Caramel vodka (I never thought it possible). 

11. Justin Timberlake released a pretty average song (Suit & Tie) which would not have been a problem were it not played EVERY TIME you log onto My Space and were it not followed by the worst, most painfully boring  and embarrassing video I have had to sit through. This is obviously not Justin circa FutureSex/LoveSounds and I'm pretty sure everyone is seriously disappointed. Here are some screenshots from the OFFENSIVE video. 

It is quite obviously an ad for Tom Ford and bad animation.

Happy holidays everybody x