Monday, 4 February 2013

What holidays have taught me

Having been on holiday for approximately three months now I feel it necessary to have learnt something. And apparently I have. I have compiled all the most important "tips" which I picked up these last three months. Mostly completely useless but at least it was a happy time. 

1. wearing underwear as outer wear:

Lesson learnt from the one and only Jana Babez. I only managed it one night (and my bra being the size of a normal girl's top no-one really noticed) but I feel like it is a good summer tip.
And if anyone finds it slutty, just do what Jana does and thank them. 

I do not thrive in warm environments. 

2. Reading the Economist

Not only is it WAY more entertaining than I ever thought possible, it also makes you seem smart. The fact that it is rather heavily right-wing influenced is something I'm willing to admit but it does not take away from the content. 

They also have really fun, positive covers like the one below. 

3. The Seychelles are probably that "heaven" all religious folk speak of. It is literally heaven, and somehow seems vastly preserved and uninhabited. If you ever have money, go there. Seriously, Thailand is like Iraq in comparison (sorry but true). 

4. The Internet with all its endless amount of information is in fact rather useless. I am a user of the Internet but I have realised I do not LIKE the Internet. Keeping off social media is probably the cleanest I have felt since my childhood ended. Look at what the people say:

5. There is no such thing as too tanned. Ever. These girls are not tanned enough. 

6. I maintain that flip flops are as unacceptable in 2013 as they were in 2012. 

7. Pirates look like this nowadays

And not so much like this:

8. Kendrick Lamar's "Money Trees" is the best thing to have happened to music.

9. Girls is a show based on pretty much everyone I socialise with. Which means we are a narcissistic bunch of maladjusted self loathing girls. Oh well, it's entertaining.

10. And finally there is such a thing as too much Caramel vodka (I never thought it possible). 

11. Justin Timberlake released a pretty average song (Suit & Tie) which would not have been a problem were it not played EVERY TIME you log onto My Space and were it not followed by the worst, most painfully boring  and embarrassing video I have had to sit through. This is obviously not Justin circa FutureSex/LoveSounds and I'm pretty sure everyone is seriously disappointed. Here are some screenshots from the OFFENSIVE video. 

It is quite obviously an ad for Tom Ford and bad animation.

Happy holidays everybody x

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